What Negative Self-Talk Sounds Like & How to Stop It

We all have an inner critic, and the intensity of their talk though varies from one person to another. Sometimes, the voice of that inner critic can be sort of helpful, for instance, when it reminds us that we don’t get enough sleep or that our eating habits are getting worse. Other times, however, the voice of our inner critic is unkind, hindering, and destructive. That is what is known as negative self-talk.

All of us at some point, have experienced a certain level of negative self-talk. And if you are wondering what that may sound like, think of a parent berating their child, or that harsh friend who always passes negative comments and criticism. If every once in a while you catch your inner critic saying things such as ‘I shouldn’t have done that’ or ‘That was not smart of me’, you are fine. The problem arises when your inner dialogue is more negative than positive.  So, listen closely to what you might be telling yourself.

 

What are some examples of negative self-talk?

• ‘I never get anything done right.’

• ‘No one likes me. I am worthless.’

• ‘I don’t deserve this.’

• ‘I always say the dumbest things.’

• ‘Nothing good ever happens to me.’

• ‘I hate who I am.’

• ‘I don’t find myself attractive.’

• ‘My opinion never counts.’

 

These are just some of many more examples of negative self-talk. So, how can you silence that mean voice and become kinder to yourself?

• Spot your inner critic. Listen to your inner dialogue and filter out those negative comments whenever you spot them being repeated in your head.

• Separate the thoughts from reality. Our thoughts aren’t entirely valid and real all the time. Especially when we are down, we tend to exaggerate the negative. Your thoughts and how you feel about yourself at that point are just influenced by your bad mood.

• Repeat affirmation. One way to stop negative self-talk is by replacing the bad with the good. Repeat positive affirmations and say them out loud every morning if you can such as ‘I’m love for who I am’ or ‘I accept myself as I am’.

• Keep track of your accomplishments and good moments. Whenever you accomplish something no matter how small or feel good about something you’ve done, journal it down. Get back to your journal whenever you feel your negative inner dialogue is taking over your head.