Heartbreaks are awful and painful, but every cloud has a silver lining. We all have gone through heartbreaks, but how we process them is what makes the difference. After a heartbreak, some will shut themselves off from the whole world and any new experiences; others will deal with the pain, let it all sink in, then get up, heal, and move forward.
Ignoring your feelings and denying yourself the right to grieve is not the right way to help yourself deal with a heartbreak, in fact, it will only make things worse. While there is not an easy way to get rid of the pain – you’ll just have to embrace these emotions- there still will be a lot of valuable lessons you will learn from the pain of a heartbreak; lessons that will prepare you for your next experience.
Lesson #1: It is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. Don’t get into a relationship or avoid breaking it out of fear of being alone. Being with the wrong person will eventually make you feel alone anyways.
Lesson #2: You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't want you back. You can never force someone to stay if they want to leave. Losing yourself and changing who you are to make them stay will not stop them from walking away if they want you. Find someone who loves you the way you are or not at all.
Lesson #3: You can’t force someone to change unless they want to. Thinking that incompatibility is a minor issue that time and will solve is the biggest lie you can tell yourself. Don’t turn a blind eye to the things you don’t like at the beginning thinking you will change them later. Never ignore the red flags.
Lesson #4: Giving up is not always considered weakness . Some doors are meant to be shut. Don’t force it, let go, and walk away. Having the ability to walk out on something that can’t continue existing is strength, not weakness.
Lesson #5: You still need to be self-sufficient You will learn that you shouldn’t fully depend on someone or expect them to take care of every single detail in your life. No one is supposed to take over the reins of your own life but you.
Lesson #6: Taking responsibility for your choices and feelings is integral in building self-awareness. With no self-awareness, you are highly likely to repeat the same mistake again. If you chose the wrong partner, own up to it. If you placed your expectations where they shouldn’t be, own up to it. Open your eyes wide enough to see where your shortcoming in the relationship is, learn from your mistake, and move on.
Lesson #7: Every relationship teaches you a lesson. Not everyone you meet is meant to stay for the rest of your life. Some people will walk into your life to teach you something, walk out, and that's it. That was their role in your life, their purpose. As much as you might not want to hear this, but someone may be just sent to you to help you learn more about yourself, to figure out what you value in a relationship, what you are willing to compromise, and what you are not.
Lesson #8: Sometimes, there won’t be a closure. Not having a closure is one of the most frustrating and painful ways to end a relationship, but here is the ugly truth: them leaving without a proper closure is your closure. It doesn’t need to get any clearer.
Lesson #9: What you sometimes thought was love, wasn’t actually love. Sometimes we get into relationships with someone to fill a certain emotional gap, and along the way we confuse this feeling with love, little do we know that this is not love. Reassess your perception of love.
Lesson #10: Time will eventually heal your wound, but the lesson can last a lifetime. In the beginning, we might think that life ends at a heartbreak, but as time passes by, the pain will fade, you will get up again, but the lesson learned will stay there as a reminder to try not to break your heart again.