Vera Wang, Stan Lee, and Julia Child, what do they have in common? From afar, we can see that they are extremely famous for their iconic work, whether in fashion, comic books, or cooking, but if we see their biographies and know more about their lives, we will find out that their journey to self-discovery and success started at a late stage in their lives.
Wang opened her fashion label at the age of 40, Lee worked on comic books at the age of 40, and Child released her first cookbook at 50 years old. Their stories are reminders that finding what you want to do in life is not defined by age.
The moment we finish college, everyone is expecting us to instantly know everything about how our lives should turn out, whether it’s career, marriage, traveling, etc.
Despite thousands upon thousands of stories that we’ve encountered, that life will always throw curveballs at us, and no matter the amount of time we’ve planned ahead, there’s always something in the way, people still have this huge demand from us to figure out who we are, what we want to do, and who to settle with in your 20s and 30s.
The myth of becoming a stable, calm, and goal-oriented person by the time you hit your 30s is running thin these days, and thankfully, young adults are changing the norms of what it means to live authentically, especially with the rise of social media that opened people’s eyes to important conversations surrounding identity, the boom of mental health services and discussions, discovery of new diganosis, battles and suriviving of anxiety, and depression.
What we need to constantly remind ourselves with is that it’s ok to not know what to do in life and rediscover who we are and question everything.
That should be the normal thing to do, to sit down, recap on our lives, the things that went right and wrong, and challenge our perceptions and ideologies that we grew up with.
Just because the people around you are in charge of their destiny and seem to have things under control, that doesn’t make you lazy, unambitious, or inadequate.
Everyone’s journey and timing will always be different than yours, and we can trace that back to even puberty, with your schoolmates hitting that growth spurt, meanwhile, your body hasn’t started the puberty phase yet. Does that mean that you will never grow and blossom? It just means that your timing is different from everyone else's.
Let’s face it, you can have the job, the partner, the stability, and feel like something is missing, and it’s not out of being ungrateful or throwing away blessings; it’s more about healing, uncovering hidden skills, and reexamining decisions.
Some call that a life crisis; However, throwing this word into everyone without contextualizing is damaging, as some have paused their lives a bit to question events and character development. Not every life crisis is out of boredom or ungratefulness or based on a delusion of grandeur, that you’re destined for greatness but you’re settling. Most of the time, when people look back at their lives in their late 20s and early 30s, they are trying to figure out patterns of destruction, milestones, and achievements, to know and plan what they should be doing in the future that can give them gratification and satisfaction for themselves and others.
So yes, having everything figured out in your 20s and 30s is a myth, and it’s one worth letting go of.
Embrace the pause. Take notes.
Redefine success on your own terms, because sometimes, the best thing you can do for your future is to stop rushing and start becoming.
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