The Difference Between Healing and Avoiding

There’s always going to be a fine line between healing, and avoiding. A line so thin you could cross it unintentionally. To say “I am over it” is the easiest, quickest way to convince ourselves that we actually healed. It’s the option we all resort to in the heat of the moment, where we pretend that it didn't affect us, when in fact we’re unconsciously avoiding the root of the problem.

 

Why is it easier to avoid, then?

Because when we avoid, it gives us a false sense of strength. As if we put it aside, get caught up in our daily responsibilities that would slowly make us feel better and frankly, it works for a while, but in fact it’s just a temporary way to escape what’s still waiting to be felt. Avoidance may feel like the right choice at first, the easy route that most take rather than the long one. Avoidance is a bump that hinders healing, the false feeling of content that seems to erupt at all the wrong timings, and that gets us going back to point zero. 

 

So, when are we actually healing?

When we sit with the discomfort, we accept it and let our feelings take time, we stop rushing the process just to be “okay”. Healing will only start when you actually let yourself feel. You let yourself grieve, remember, regret and finally accept that what happened happened. When you reach a point of acceptance, realising the fact that nothing can change what happened before, but it’s in your hands to change the way you live with it. 

Healing isn't pretty, and aesthetic. It has good and bad days and it isn't meant to be beautiful and flawless. It's raw, real, and unfiltered and maybe that's the beauty of it.

So dear reader, don't rush to be over it. Be patient with yourself, and remember it's not about reaching a destination, it's about returning to your truest form of self.