We Fell in Love in October With Ourselves

Well, we are officially in October, the month when we all embrace both spooky and romantic vibes.

Everyone is getting ready for Halloween, and at the same time, blasting Girl in Red’s “We Fell in Love in October” in their stories, while most of us are single.

 

There’s an unspoken, almost an obligation to fall in love in October, watch “When Harry Met Sally” or “Pride & Prejudice” to expect Mr. Darcy to sweep us off our feet, but that’s not reality, is it?

Just because we don’t have the perfect romantic story to start in October, doesn’t mean that we cannot experience any sort of love in our lives.

 

What we tend to forget is that love isn’t limited to romantic partners; love is a feeling, expressed genuinely to the people you care about, friends, family, coworkers, you name it.

The idea behind love being reserved for relationships only is limiting, so, instead of feeling the pressure and rushing to jump into dating even though you’re not ready, just to keep the people pleased about you finding love, you can be in a committed & loving relationship, but with yourself.

 

We get caught up in trying to make sure that everyone we know is seen, valued, and appreciated, but we tend to forget to take care of ourselves in the process.

 

In some cases, some people just forget to do a self-checkup because it didn’t genuinely cross their minds, thinking that “as long as they’re functioning, they are fine”, and others struggle with an identity crisis, self-loathing, and fall into self-destructive behaviour that they’re thinking they’re irredeemable and unworthy. 

Whether it’s the former or the latter, it’s time to step up and put in the work to love yourself and remember that you’re worthy and valuable.

 

Yes, some factors are considered a hurdle to romanticize your life (burnout, self-hatred, laziness, apathy to the concept), but life is a walk in the park and us humans are filled with complexities and to find some peace and love in ourselves takes tons of work and commitment, even if you don’t feel like it, you must put in the effort.

 

What you can do to fall in love with yourself and reignite your inner spark is:

 

Write Down Past & Present Good Deeds You’ve Made

With life running at a vast speed, we tend to forget our lives, past, present, and future. We all have the mindset of “let’s get it over with” without processing what has happened or is already happening. The “fight or flight” mode that we are currently in is forcing us to not assess our actions and deeds we’ve made along the way.

So drop everything that is not considered urgent or a “life and death situation” and write down every tiny good deed you’ve done in your life.

This is not an exercise in ego boosting, but a reminder that despite our flaws, tantrums, and mistakes, there’s a good person inside that shared kindness. 

 

Remember That Bad Times Don’t Last

We tend to think that we live in a bad timeline and forget all the good times we’ve had. This awful and destructive mindset is a gateway to hatred, self-loathing, and apathy towards yourself and everyone you care about.

Always remind yourself that it’s just a bad phase, even if it feels like it's been going on forever. In reality, this is your mental perception of things being awful and will stay that way.

Each person you’ve ever encountered went through hell and back, yet they survived. 

Take their survival as an inspiration to move forward. 

 

Take Accountability for Past Mistakes and Vow to Do Better

The hardest part of self-love and acceptance is taking accountability for past mistakes.

We don’t like seeing ourselves in a bad light, and when we do, we see ourselves as irredeemable and don’t forget ourselves.

Our mindset is basically summed up as “We are Lucifer incarnated, unworthy of anything that’s remotely lovely.” 

Taking accountability and having a conscience is what makes you human, what connects you to being a considerable loving person, who made mistakes and does the right thing; that trait takes guts and is so admired. 

So face those past mistakes and forgive yourself. Vow to do better and be better.

Apologize to those whom you’ve wronged, and yourself included.

 

Talk to a Therapist 

Lastly, if you feel incapable of speaking up or expressing self-love, the best thing to do is to talk to a therapist.

They can help you in your journey to find self-love and acceptance, as they won’t judge you, but guide you into seeing things from a different perspective. 

 

 

Life is about give and take; that much is true, yet forgetting to love ourselves is detrimental to us in the long term. We must give ourselves the luxury, break, and care that we deserve.