We are creatures of habit. Our routines and habits – healthy or not – provide us with a sense of safety. We feel comfortable every time we are in a setup or a situation that is familiar. Then, as soon as change is introduced into our lives, disrupting everything we are used to, we panic. Change takes us on an emotional roller coaster, pulling us away from the comfort and peace of our day-to-day life, even when this peace or comfort is just an illusion.
Deep down within ourselves, we know when it is time to change our status quo. We know one way or another that we need to do something, yet we freeze in our place, accepting what is no longer working for us, because we are scared. Change, without a doubt, is scary and uncomfortable.
We find change so hard
Because we might not even know we need to change. We think our old habits, concepts, and thoughts have worked well for us to survive all these past years. We think we’re doing fine and that maybe, just maybe, everything that is happening to us is just bad luck, misfortune, or that we were dealt a bad hand, not that maybe our approach - if not also our core beliefs- need a dramatic shift.
Because we’ll always prefer familiar hell over unfamiliar heaven. We‘d rather stick to the pain that we know than take a risk and end up feeling pain, but one that we don’t know. We think we are doing well the way we are, that we have gotten used to a certain type of pain that we know how to numb it. We become so familiar with it that we might even forget we are suffering. We’d rather stay the same because we have become so comfortable, we know how to navigate well from where we are. We don’t want to try and see what it might look like on the other side, away from this painful, yet familiar place.
Because we are afraid of all we might lose in the process. When we change who we are, we lose parts of ourselves we were so stubbornly holding onto. We’re afraid we’ll lose our identity. But this old self can’t serve us any longer. In fact, it is not only parts of ourselves that we lose, but also people. Some will blame us, we are not the same, same won’t like the new change, but it is only those who truly love us who will hold space for us throughout the process and will be there for you nonetheless.
Because we are confined by social norms and conventional upbringing. We’ve always squeezed ourselves tight within a societal mold we don’t fit in and we try so hard to escape the confines, but then we are afraid we’d be judged for being unorthodox. We grew to certain beliefs and ideas that we feel like steering away from the crowds will label us as rebels. We simply rather stay in line, just like everyone else.
No one said change is easy, but what is even harder than change is to stay where you are, to remain trapped within old patterns and stuck to old habits. Change, yes, is not easy, but it is necessary, simply because your old ways won’t always work in your favor.
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