Ever heard the phrase “You are my personal therapist”? Then you should probably read this article. Some of us unfortunately fall into the same rabbit hole, the continuous loop of fixing people who we shouldn't fix, simply because we don’t have the capability to fix others, only help them.
Fixing people can have unexpected consequences, whether it's through unwanted advice, imposing our own judgments, or trying to shape them into our ideal version of themselves. Here is why fixing others has multiple pitfalls.
People’s happiness will be your own responsibility
As difficult as it is to accept, you have to remind yourself that it is not your job to make people happy. If you continuously try to mend individuals’ complications, then they will depend on you non-stop to bring them joy and that will eventually create a heavy burden on you and drain your energy.
It increases emotional exhaustion
It's fine to fix a problem or two, but constantly trying to fix people can be extremely draining, as it consumes a huge amount of your emotional and mental energy, leaving you feeling overwhelmed. It can even disrupt your own thoughts, so it is crucial to practice self-care and establish boundaries with those people.
It will create codependency
Constantly trying to fix others can lead to codependent relationships, where you become overly focused on meeting others' needs while neglecting your very own. This creates an unhealthy dynamic where your boundaries and desires take a step back thus negatively impacting your mental health.
You will feel frustrated over time
Imagine investing all your time and effort in trying to fix someone, then they don't make the changes you have desired nor even meet your minimum expectations, pretty disappointing right? Well, to be honest, it is expected. We are extremely complex beings and each person changes at their own pace so it is no surprise that some people cannot change. Save your energy and time in evolving and self-growth.
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