In a world filled with 8,045,311,447 people, we think that one of them must be our soulmate. We look for our other half, the one we feel we can spend the rest of our lives with. Some people aren’t destined to find love and are okay with it, but for those who believe in the power of love, it’s a painful and frustrating process to find someone to complete us.
After many bad dates, awful relationships, and situationships, the “perfect” person is found, the problem is, they don’t view us the way we view them. It’s not like they don’t like us or they only view us as a friend, but we get stuck into the so-called “grey area”. we are not their lovers, nor their friends, but a confidant, a safe place, someone who shares their darkest secrets, knows their best and worst traits and we become possessive of them without an actual label. This possessiveness applies to them too, they get jealous of a potential love interest, but they never make the effort to state their feelings, in addition to keeping us close to them, and making their lives intertwined into ours.
Why do they keep us close if they don’t see us as lovers? Why cannot they let us go and move on? And why do we stay knowing that we are hurt by this zone we’ve been put in? Who’s to blame?
Hopefully, this article has given you a little insight into the grey area we get stuck in and its effect.
Side note: not all relationships are easy like a piece of cake, and every situation is different, however, we hope this article will help you in some way.
How Did We Get into the Grey Area?
It’s important to note that the heart wants what the heart wants. Your mind can give you plenty of warnings and signal you when you are on the verge of going too deep with someone you know isn’t the one, but the heart makes you put on rose-tinted glasses.
First, we meet someone, we instantly connect, and they might be not ready for a relationship, but we are. Even though they stated that they are not ready for a relationship, or any type of commitment, they keep you close, and not in a platonic healthy way, you are the one they ask to be there for them, and they relish in your existence. In short, they love you but they’re not in love with you.
In their eyes, you’re perfect in every way, but not “The one”
And unfortunately, we get caught up in their feelings and emotions. We love the special attention they give us, as in our minds we think “ No one has ever cared about me like this before, this is meant to be, even if it’s not meant to happen now, it will happen later.”
We spent much time and energy wondering if something was wrong with us. Why aren’t we enough? Why are we always the bridesmaid never the bride? We keep asking ourselves what is going on in their heads.
The answer we present you might not be The ANSWER but it’s close to it…
The Grey Area is the Safe Area
Let’s get into the mindset of the person we’re in love with and try to understand their perspective. What made them decide that we belong in The Grey Area? What about us that made them want to have us as a confidant but not a soulmate? The answer is…safety.
Some of them have been hurt, mistreated, or haven’t recovered from their last relationship, so they are not ready to enter a new relationship until they heal their scars. With that in mind, they crave love and attention. They see you as a person who can give them the attention they need and accept them for what they are, flaws and all. However, they’re too scared and scarred to go the extra mile and ask you to be their partner. To them, you are a fresh breath of air, worthy of love and attention, but they cannot bring themselves to take the risk of getting hurt again with you because of the traumas they went through in the past.
It’s a sad reality that some people are not ready for love, and sadder that we accept that situation knowing that it causes us pain, it begs the question: if we know their love is not reciprocated, if we understand that sometimes they cannot help but be distant, then why do we stay?
We Want Love, Didn’t Find It, So We Accept What We Have
In a world filled with empowering songs about being independent and strong, the truth is that we all want love. Kudos to the people who can live on their own and be satisfied, but most of us crave love. The feeling of having someone understanding us, accepting us, and making us feel special. After many series of failed dates and relationships, we finally meet a person with whom we can feel like things are going to work out, only to be put in the grey area.
It’s not like we are blind to the truth, we choose to ignore it because we hang on to the hope of it happening, but it never does. We know the damage of the grey area but we relish in the sweet moments that we share with the person we like.
The situation of the grey area is not an easy one to deal with, and getting out of it is even harder. What we need to do is to bring ourselves to be alone for a while. To stop hanging on by a thread of hope, and accept the fact that this person is not the one for us. They might be good people, but they are not the ones. We need to accept that just because we feel love, if it’s not stated if it’s not acted on, we shouldn’t take it. We need to see love in other things, to fill the gap in our heart not with a person, but with life’s beauty and adventure. Love will happen, life will happen when you least expect it, so live it.