Despite the Destigmatization of Seeking Therapy: Why Are We Still Afraid to Say We Need Help?

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Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 12:45 GMT

BY

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 12:45 GMT

Right now, we are in an age where mental health is not stigmatized as much as we have seen on TV, in movies, and even in our society the rise of mental health awareness. From suicide prevention month to mental health awareness month, we are no longer in a time where it’s shameful to admit that you’re facing a problem or you feel depressed. although the stigma is almost gone, some people are still afraid to say that they need help, as they don’t feel like their problems are worthy of seeking help. 
 
Why is that? Why do people still feel the burden of seeking help and admitting that they are not okay? This article might provide some insight as to why people still feel this fear of coming forward and seeking help.

Fear of Being Vulnerable
 
According to Harvard Business Review, for people who are insecure and worried about their image, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. By asking for help, they feel like they will look incompetent and cannot take control of their lives.
Another reason for the fear of being vulnerable stems from the idea that if they open up to the wrong person, their vulnerability will be exploited, or underestimated, so they rather keep their problems to themselves and suffer in silence. 
 
Fear of Being a Burden
In this world, regardless of culture or age, people have faced the problem of admitting their problems and asking for help, only to be shut down and not taken seriously. Imagine opening up to your friend or family member and only for them to say that they cannot handle listening to your problems as they already are facing so much in their lives and don’t need another burden. 
 
Fear of being Shamed or seen as Incompetent 
 
Whatever issue you’re facing, admitting to someone that you’re having a problem comes with the fear of being shamed like you’ve done something unforgivable. Most people don’t have the same circumstances or ideologies as you, and for that, you feel like saying out loud the issue you’re having is something to bury your head from shame and embarrassment.  Or for instance, you feel like saying out loud that you are not okay makes you an incompetent person who is not taking accountability for their action. 
 
Thinking that They don’t deserve help
 
Highly self-critical people are often reluctant to seek help as they see themselves as people who don’t deserve help and they had it coming. Many of these people do not believe they deserve to ask for other people's time and energy.
 
So after pinpointing some of the major reasons why people fear seeking therapy, let’s offer some methods that can help overcome these fears. 
 
 
Write it down
While we are our best hypemen, we are our worst critics. So when it comes to our mental health, we need to address it and write down our feelings, the positive and the negative. 
 
Quoting Mel Robbins author and motivational speaker, on the Call Her Daddy podcast 
 
“Take out a piece of paper. Draw a line down the center. Okay, on the one side, right? what am I doing that's making me feel like this? That'll do it. Now, on the right-hand side of the page. Write down about a time of your life when you're happier or think about the kinds of things that you do that make you feel better. Oh, I take care of my body. Oh, I spend more time with friends. Oh, I take a class. Oh, you know, I have boundaries. Now compare those two and adjust accordingly. There's your map. When you're in your head, you're in Fantasyland. The reason why writing these things down matters is because we are getting you out of the subconscious.”
 
 
 
Seek Counsel
Professional therapists and counselors are there for a reason. They have the means and the methods to help you figure out what you need and provide you with a safe space to talk and let go of your emotions without any fears or worries. 
 
 
Remember that You’re Worthy 
While it’s not easy to dismiss this feeling of shame and constant voice of guilt and fear in your head, remember that you are worthy of being loved and that you deserve to be happy, regardless of what you think you’ve done or what your problem may be.
Everyone you know and love is going through something too, does it mean that they don’t deserve help too? Why don’t you allow yourself to feel sympathy and empathy for yourself the same way you would for your loved ones?
 

 

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