You are in a social gathering and one person walks in the room and you can’t help but notice their strong presence and get more intrigued as you start getting into a conversation. Or maybe you walk into a networking event and notice a small crowd gathering around one person listening attentively. It is fair that you begin to wonder what is it about this type of people that get others hooked and interested in no time. This type of people usually shares certain characteristics that make them the gravitating people they are. What can that be and how to become one?
1. Learn how to read the room first. If you noticed, this type of people takes a bit of time in the beginning to observe and listen. This is very important for you to learn more about the people you are meeting and the things that pique their interest.
2. To be interesting, you should show interest in others. As humans, we are self-centered. We like to talk about ourselves most of the time to gain people’s attention or interest. But you can gain their interest way faster if you show interest in them. Because again, as humans, we also like to be heard. The moment you show real interest in what others are saying you are more likely to get them to enjoy talking to you more.
3. Listen attentively. Being a good listener is a very attractive quality. When someone speaks to you, do you listen unmindfully because you just want to get your part in the conversation and share your though? Or are you really listening attentively? When someone speaks to you pay attention, ask questions, don’t interrupt, and give them the space to share their thoughts before you do. Generally, talk less and listen more.
4. Don’t ask superficial questions. It is not just about asking questions to show interest, it is about asking the right question. Instead of asking boring questions like ‘how was the traffic on the way here?’ or ‘how’s your day?’, ask deeper questions that open room for deeper conversations. Ask them about things they dream of doing, their funniest adventure, or an experience that taught them a valuable lesson.
5. Be a good storyteller. Interesting people usually have great stories to tell and they narrate them well enough to keep you listening attentively. Stories that share too much of the human element are usually the most interesting; ones that demonstrate thoughts, emotions, and experiences. But also be careful not to be overly controlling the conversation or wanting to jump in just to tell a story.