Dating and relationships have become more complicated than ever. You meet someone, click together, and feel there’s a spark, all well until that point before you start to have a lot of questions or doubts. In the excitement of this phase, you only see the good side of that person through rose-colored glasses and your mind decides to ignore anything that sounds alarming no matter how obvious. Part of it is because we wish that this time it will be better, that we won’t get heartbroken again, but it is because of how we ignore red flags early on that we get broken-hearted. Before you fall head over heels don’t let that attraction blind you from noticing these red flags.
1. They make you feel bad or less about yourself. They constantly put you down. Around them, you feel unworthy and your self-esteem is shaken badly. It is mostly because of them being intimidated by you or feeling that you are out of their league that they keep criticizing you to feel bad about yourself.
2. Inconsistency. One week they are showering you with love and romantic dates, and the next week they disappear on you. No calls, no texts, nothing! They don’t keep with the same pattern throughout and on the other side you are right there finding them excuses for all the things that might have gone wrong to them and that it is probably out of their hands.
3. Gaslighting. The worst type of emotional manipulation. They never acknowledge your disappointments, turn the tables, and accuse you of being ‘dramatic’ or ‘crazy’. You never win a single argument with them and they always find a way to make it all your problem.
4. Anger issues. You watch them snap in anger with people around them but always try to show the good side of them in front of you. Sooner or later, they will show their true colors and drain you with their unresolved anger issues.
5. You can’t be your real self around them. They make you walk on eggshells questioning everything you say and do. You feel worried that if you are yourself around then they will judge you or criticize you.
6. You keep second guessing whether they really like you. It needs no rocket signs to tell if someone really likes you or not. The moment you have doubts, feel uncertain, or try to find justifications for their disappearance or lack of expressing emotions, rest assured your doubts are legit.
7. They’re unavailable. Emotions-wise and time-wise. They are never there when you need them and they don’t give enough of their time and attention to hear you out. There is no such thing as being overworked or busy. If someone wants to make time for you, they will. Period!
8. They try to control you. It goes beyond controlling where you go and who you meet. It is about wanting to control and change your beliefs, actions, dreams, and plans. And if you don’t go by what they tell you, they threaten you of walking out on you.
9. Lack of trust and extreme jealousy. Maybe it is their nature and maybe their projecting their past emotional traumas on you. Whatever it is, if they don’t trust a single thing you say and always make you feel like you are a liar, just run.
10. They affect your relationship with your friends negatively. They try to keep you away from them and would try to turn you against them while giving you a full case study on why they are a bad influence or feel jealous of you.
Our final words, if your gut feeling tells you something is off, then it probably is. Don’t ignore that feeling just because you hope otherwise. Also, if your friends don’t like your significant other and you feel it deep down in you that what you say is right but you try to defend your significant other just to convince them with what you want to believe. Drop it and end it altogether before you get more attached
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