Everything in life is about finding the balance between holding on and letting go. We always strive to make the right choice, but choices are not always easy, especially when it comes to those we love, or let’s say the ones we think we love.
In relationships, we invest a lot of our emotions, time, and energy, and the more we invest, the harder it is to let go. Sometimes we do not let go because we fear the unknown, sometimes we do not let go out of fear of being alone, the reasons are many, but the end result is the same; living unhappily.
While lying, cheating, and disrespect are among the most common and grave reasons for breakups, we barely acknowledge that these are indicators of many underlying issues. Oftentimes, we turn a blind eye to many things that may sound alarming on hope things will change, but as the relationship deteriorates the damage becomes more severe and no amount of salvaging will be able to save it.
Knowing when to let go will save you a lot of pain and will help you move forward with a better mental state. If you experience one or more of these signs, maybe you need to make peace with the fact that it is time to let go.
1. You are not being yourself. If you constantly have to pretend to be someone you are not out of fear of being judged or misunderstood, then you are not in the right place. A partner is the last person you want to wear masks around.
2. You are not genuinely happy. We are speaking about happiness here, not just getting along or coping. Well, obviously every relationship has its ups and downs, but not in any way should it be flatline monotonous and lifeless.
3. You want different things. When partners are not on the same page and their goals and objectives differ widely, it will be hard for them to meet halfway. They both will be stuck in a relationship where instead of doing life together, each will be going a different path on their own, and accordingly, they gradually drift apart.
4. You are constantly criticized and barely appreciated. Whether it is your looks, your behavior, or your ideas and beliefs, if your partner constantly criticizes you in public or in private this means they are unable to see the good in you.
5. The passion and the good times are gone. When the passion is gone, boredom and dullness overtake the relationship. This is a reason why many people cheat and seek to fill the emotional gap with someone else.
6. You feel lonely most of the time. A healthy relationship is one where partners are happily sharing their lives together, through thick and thin. If you feel that you go through everything alone while in a relationship, this is an unmistakable sign that it is already broken.
7. You are trying too hard and compromise a lot. Relationships should be built on equal give-and-take. If you are doing all the hard work alone to maintain the relationship, chances are you will grow resentful and frustrated.
8. You keep on finding excuses and justifications for their behavior. If you feel the need to constantly find an excuse to why you are being neglected and try to defend them in front of your parents and friends, you are only choosing to blind yourself from seeing the truth.
9. You are always fighting. If all your communications fail and you end up fighting and arguing, this is an indicator that both of you are not compatible and do not understand one another enough. It can also be a sign of pent-up anger and frustration.
10. The relationship drains your energy. Being around the person you love should bring you warmth, joy, and lift your spirits up; should never feel like a chore or an obligation. If you are in a relationship that constantly makes you feel under the weather and in need of some solo time, you are definitely in the wrong place, with the wrong person.
11. You’re burdened and suffocated. Their presence puts a lot of pressure on you. You do not feel at ease around them and feel that you always have to explain yourself. You put a lot of effort to make the time you spend together enjoyable, even worse, you do not look forward to seeing them anymore.
12. You experience fear in the relationship. You think twice before you speak or react because their reactions always intimidate you and make you feel nervous. If you walk on eggshells around your partner and constantly feel worried that what you say or do will upset them, you need to free yourself from the chains of this relationship.
13. You experience disrespect and abuse. There is no room in healthy relationships for abuse and disrespect, it is simply impossible to happen. If you are abused physically or emotionally and are not treated with the respect you deserve, cut it off immediately.
14. You’re in it hoping things will change. You’ve been trying for so long to fix it, but you still know and feel it in your heart that you are not happy. In such a situation, you are only holding to the slight chance that they might change, waiting for things to get better, or maybe because you think you this is the best you can get.
15. The relationship is holding you back. The right partner will support you and motivate you to reach your dreams and goals, they will never hinder your process of growing and evolving, whether on a professional or a personal level.
Relationships should bring out the best in us, help us grow, evolve, and most importantly help us unmask our true selves. Your partner should feel like home, the one you’ll run to and not run from. If you are in a relationship where both of you do not give one another something to look forward to together every day, you are doing life with the wrong person.