What we grow up to become as adults is shaped by our childhood. While self-confidence is subjective to one’s evaluation of their worth, what we were told as kids and how our parents treat us play a vital role in building or destroying self-confidence. It goes without saying that every parent would always want the best for their children, but in trying to do so, they sometimes may do some mistakes unconsciously, unaware of how it will impact them as grownups. These are some of the strategies that can backfire and make your children struggle to feel confident in who they are.
1. Comparing them to other kids.
This is one of the most emotionally destroying things you can do to your kids. Whether it is a comparison to siblings, cousins, or other kids of the same age, how your child receives this comparison is ‘I am not good enough’. Avoid things like ‘your brother does better at school’ or ‘you should play more sports like your friend’. Give instructions or motivate them but without comparison.
2. Wanting them to be perfect.
Setting very high standards for their kids doesn’t motivate them, in fact, it is hindering. When you push them toward perfection, they can feel unable to level or measure up to the high standards you set for them. Also, constantly criticizing your kids and their behavior grows a feeling of worthlessness inside of them.
3. Leaving no room for mistakes.
Your child should grow up in an environment that leaves room for mistakes so that they learn. If you punish your child harshly every time they do a mistake, they will become too scared to try and do something on their own. They will fear failing or making a mistake that leads to them being punished. This destroys the child’s confidence in his own choices and actions.
4. Not allowing them to voice their opinion.
You should teach your kids, early on, to have a voice of their own. Leaving your kids more room to have their own voice allows them to navigate more independently in life as they grow and make their own decision rather than relying on others to make important life choices for them.
5. Being overprotective.
It comes out of every parent’s nurturing nature that they are overprotective of their kids. But you need to give them space to experience life outside of your protective bubble. Give guidance but don’t lock them up away from life. In doing so, you give them the confidence in dealing with whatever life throws at them when they grow up