Transitioning from the bearable weather of El-Sahel to the scorching heat of Cairo is no fun. Neither is trading in your swimsuit for a trouser suit. Now you’re staring blankly at your computer screen instead of a sea view, longing for the beach and ignoring your growing to-do list. You’ve checked your Facebook account, written an email to your long-lost best friend and have stared at your inbox praying someone will suddenly remember your existence. You’ve even started reading your junk email in hopes 5 o’clock will roll around just a tad faster. When confined to a jail-like cubicle with nothing to do but a pile of incredibly unappealing tasks, how does the beach bum get through the day?

Fortunately, you are located in front of a little machine that gives you access to the entire world — the internet. I’ve often questioned how work got done before the internet, as it seems unfathomable that someone might live without Wikipedia, Google or the infinite landfill of “resources”: the games, gossip and entertainment the internet provides. My personal archive of procrastination-friendly websites varies from the inane to the intellectual, with everything in between to make the second hand go a bit faster and 5 o’clock a little less elusive.

Here are the finest tips and tricks to make the 9-to-5 pass faster.

Celebrities have always been fascinating; now, imagine giving it a whole new twist by adding a healthy dose of narcissism. Go to www.myheritage.com and register, then upload your picture and the website will generate a slew of celebrities you look like.

It sounds stupid, but the minute you get Jessica Alba or Brad Pitt staring out at you from the screen, you’ll be hooked, uploading picture after picture to decide which celebrity you most look like and snickering to yourself when your look-alike happens to be Saddam Hussein or Queen Latifah.

Don’t be fooled by his smile — no discounted cashflow analysis is that amusing.

Don’t worry, it isn’t true, you don’t resemble Pauly Shore in the slightest.

I personally recommend games. Here’s why: If your monitor is hidden from sight in such a way that your co-workers can only see your face and not what you’re working on, your expression will give the impression that you are concentrating on the most important deposition / article / presentation. In other words, you’ll look like you are working.

This is a good tip for internet surfing at work in general: Show as little emotion as possible and make sure that if you do show any emotion, you are expressing either frustration or complete despair. Work is not supposed to be fun; no one will believe you’re laughing to yourself over your boss’s attempts at wit in a financial report.

For games, two websites reign supreme: ebaumsworld.com and yahoo.com. The first allows you to parallel park, blow bubbles and even catch apples in a basket. It even has a tetris link, which can make many a morning pass by in no time. Yahoo has two games that are perfect since they also involve typing. Text Twist and Book Worm will have you typing away with such rhythm that your co-workers will think you are racking your brain for the perfect words for that report when you are really trying to unscramble the word “rsemas” (it’s “smears,” don’t think too hard).

And when you scream out in frustration, say a superior sent you an annoying email — it works every time.

As far as guilty pleasures go, this blog is right up there with chocolate sundaes and Danielle Steele novels (admit it, you have read at least one or you’ve at least seen a made-for-TV movie version).

The site is basically a chronology of (often scandalous) celebrity pictures, enhanced by catty remarks and pure bitchery. Topics range from the latest superstar fashions, dating, lifestyle, drug use and, of course, weight loss.

The site, known under the slogans Celebrity Juice, Not From Concentrate and Hollywood’s Most Hated Website, has gained so much popularity that it has catapulted its infamous author, Mario Lavandeira (aka Perez Hilton) to para-celebrity status himself.

The Onion is one of the few pseudo-news websites that takes being funny to the next level. With straightforward puns and headlines that you really want to see, theonion.com will give you the chance to catch up on world events and pop culture in a way that tickles your funny bone. And the spoof news? Absolutely the best.

Kissthisguy.com, is a collection of misheard song lyrics — the name refers to the commonly misheard lyrics in Jimi Hendrix’s song “Purple Haze.” Many listeners mishear the lyrics as “kiss this guy” instead of “kiss the sky.” Search through to find the songs you often mishear, and remember it’s always a bit more entertaining when you pull in someone else to laugh with you. Check out the misheard lyrics for Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise;” surprisingly enough the paradise might just be in the kitchen.

On a particularly slow day, I managed to actually compile a virtual wardrobe. A closet that consisted of all of the clothes I would never make enough money to buy all at once, perfectly arranged by preference and designer.

I recommend shopping from high-end department stores, firstly because they have all the designers you need on one site, and secondly because they give you little tidbits about trends and sometimes even mix and match for you.

Try, for example, bergdorfgoodman.com, harveynichols.com, and saks.com. Don’t waste your time looking for shoes on any of these sites; instead check out zappos.com for over 10,000 shoes and styles. You can find Converse sneakers for $30, Lacoste sneakers for $120 and high-heeled shoes from Moschino. It has an amazing number of shoes and you can browse collections according to style, brand or even color. The site is fun and entertaining, and if you are so inclined you can now even buy things and have them sent here thanks to Aramex.

Google “Spark Tests” and you will find a subdivision of the Spark Notes website dedicated to tests that literally have next to no effect on your life. The tests vary from the Lazy Test to the Untelligence Test and even to the Wench Test. The tests offer witty takes on pop culture and will give your day a little boost. My own personal favorite is the Stress Test, the results of which will completely throw you. Have fun and don’t take the tests too seriously, no matter how true the IQ test results might seem.

This may come as a shock, but you don’t have to sit at your desk from 9-to-5: You can get up and walk around. (this is actually recommended so that you avoid back problems). So as much as you loathe your tanned office mates, go talk to them, stand by their desks and listen to them regale you with how much fun they had over the weekend, while you think of various ways to shut them up without being rude. Doing so will create within you a newfound appreciation for the solace and comfort of your desk. Write down the ways you would shut them up without caring if you’re rude. It’s fun.

Another favored activity is to go to the corner store. Make sure to make a big fuss about the fact that you are leaving and ask your coworkers if they would like you to pick up something for them. You’ll appear very thoughtful but in reality this just means that you can take longer and shop a whole lot more because you have more things to buy. If there’s a Metro by your office this is infinitely more entertaining.

Stretch in your office. Some have even braved office yoga, although a business suit doesn’t really have the elasticity required for a downward dog, and such a pose could result in a torn seam. As an alternative, you might simply get up at hourly intervals and make it a point to stretch out everything so you feel less stiff. Then you can get back to mocking Jessica Simpson in your head, playing Text Twist or finding the perfect pair of shoes.

One last tip: If your boss does catch you in the act, plan number one is deny, deny, deny. If your supervisor or manager is not convinced, let them in on it. Plan two is to include them and claim a 15 minute break before getting back to work. I guarantee they will share with you at least one website they frequent for a tiny little break every now and then — even if it is Googling 101 ways to fire an employee.  et