IWAS SLIGHTLY ANNOYED as I walked down a pitch-black stairwell at St. John’s Church in Maadi with only my cell phone backlight to illuminate my way through an unexpected power outage that had interrupted my interview with Terry Waite.

It’s frightening to realize that the large yet unassuming man next to me, who was graciously offering me his arm for support as we navigated the stairs, lived in exactly this kind of darkness for the better part of four years as a hostage in Beirut. For months at a time, the humanitarian hostage negotiator was himself a hostage, locked in a dark room without seeing or talking to anyone. And yet 15 years later, here he is lecturing, giving interviews and being extremely tolerant about an electrical mishap that has left a good portion of Maadi in total darkness.

After successfully negotiating the 1981 release of hostages taken by Islamist fundamentalists in Iran and Libya, Waite was himself taken hostage in Beirut in 1987 while trying to negotiate yet another release of American hostages. The British national who served as advisor to the Archbishop of Canterbury Robert Runcie was held for 1,763 days, almost four years of which were spent in solitary confinement. Today, he is diligently preaching trust, understanding and tolerance as the only means of breaking the vicious cycle of aggression that has plagued the Middle East.

Despite the fact that he was beaten, tortured, interrogated and left alone in the dark without books, papers or radio for such an agonizingly long time, Waite says he harbors no bitterness against his captors.

“I don’t condone violence or terrorist activity of any sort, but I can certainly understand why these young men from Hizbollah did what they did. They have grown up with nothing but war and violence and have been denied their democratic rights all their lives,” he explains.

“At the beginning I was angry. So angry that I refused to eat for a week, but I did not allow the anger to turn into bitterness. The first year was one of constant interrogation. My captors wanted to know what I knew about the Iran-Contra Affair, [whether] I was involved and how I was involved. I answered truthfully that I had nothing to do with it. I think they eventually started to believe me and the interrogation stopped, but they did not know what to do with me and I was still not free to go,” he recalls.

Saiidi/AP Waite is guarded by a Druze militiaman as he talks to reporters at the Riviara Hotel in West Beirut on January 12, 1987.

“As my time in captivity grew longer, I saw my body disintegrate and I wondered if I would disintegrate mentally and spiritually as well, but I didn’t. I learned to live from within and that is what saved me from psychosis. I drew on all the literature and poetry that I had read in my life and those words kept me going,” recalls Waite.

He claims that the first book that he wrote after he was released, Taken on Trust, was written in his mind during captivity.

Waite’s harrowing experience has made him a stronger, more tolerant person.

“I learned to appreciate the simpler things in life. Freedom is such a blessing,” he says, a man who is now unfazed by power outages, scheduling conflicts and other mundane matters that seem to throw those around him into an uproar. Waite just continues speaking calmly in the flickering candlelight as if unaware of what the fuss is all about.

When asked if he now feels safe while traveling in the Middle East, he scoffs at the idea that he should be wary.

“Goodness no, why should I be afraid?” he asks. “These days, you can be threatened anywhere, even walking down the street in London. I have been back in Beirut after my release and even there I feel fine. I hold no grudge against people in the Middle East. It would be silly to do so. Arabs are some of the nicest and most hospitable people in the world, and I have many close friends in the Middle East.”

Waite tries as much as possible through his lectures around the world to dispel the negative stereotype of the Middle East and Arabs. “They have been given a bad name by the fundamentalists, just as the Americans have been given a bad name by some of the loonies that are getting elected,” he says with a laugh. “This is where the press has an important role to play. They must report truthfully and knock down some of these stereotypes. Every time there is a suicide bombing, it just perpetuates the stereotyping. Those of us who have the opportunity to speak in public have got to constantly work against this.”

A staunch critic of the war in Iraq and US foreign policy in the Middle East, Waite is not afraid to tell it like it is, even in front of Western audiences that may not take well to his lack of reverence for the US-led coalition forces.

Waite, who had just returned from lecturing in the United States 12 days prior to his trip to Egypt, claims American audiences are receptive to his message. “I think only six percent of the American population has passports. It’s a very small percentage, so most Americans haven’t a clue what other parts of the world are like except for what they have seen on television. I have found that when I have spoken from my own experiences and tried to explain the situation in the Middle East like it really is, they listen. I found the mood there regarding the war to have changed. Now that they see 2,000 bodies come home, they are starting to reconsider.” he says.

“We will not win the battle against terrorism with military might, that much I know for certain. The Iraq war is one of the real roots of the recent terrorism. I always said that it would create a black hole into which extremists would pour.”

When asked what he thought might be a reasonable solution to the situation at hand, Waite sighs deeply. “It’s not that easy any more. The politicians have put the military into a very difficult position. A premature withdrawal could lead to a total collapse, while a constant presence leads to further and further agitation. It’s almost a no-win situation.”

He does, however, believe that an eventual resolution will come in the form of a UN-backed Arab peacekeeping force. While Waite is an advocate for fostering open and honest democracy in the Middle East, he feels that the way the West is going about promoting democracy today is something of a fallacy.

“You cannot stick democracy on a country like you stick a postage stamp on a letter. It takes years for democratic institutions to grow, but it does need all our support. Violence just drags people back.

“I think the Middle East deserves a better deal. It’s a disgrace that the Palestinian-Israeli conflict has still not been resolved after over 30 years of trying. I do question, though, whether or not the Middle East has ever had an impartial broker,” says Waite. The situation in the Middle East has gone from bad to worse since the days of hostage taking and Waite is well aware of it. “People on both sides of the spectrum want to make things better, but they just don’t know how or where to begin.”

Judging by the captive, standing-room-only audience of about 1,000 expats at St. John’s Cairo Lectures series who gathered to hear Waite recount his experiences in Beirut and comment on the events of the day, there is an intent desire to make sense of acts that appear senseless. Even as Waite lectured in Cairo, terrorism struck one more, this time in Amman, Jordan, lending even more urgency to Waite’s message that something must be done to stop the chain of violence.

“What happened in Jordan [yesterday] was just lamentable. It is tragic that a country that has tried for so long to live in peace should experience something like that,” he tells me the next day.

“The problem seems to me [to be] that both sides have become too dominated by men and women of violence. I am a great supporter of someone like Hannan Ashrawi, for example; she is an intelligent and articulate woman. The Middle East could really do with some role models who propagate a peaceful way of resolving things. We can look at the example of South Africa, where role models like Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela promoted peace. Instead of these peaceful figures, we had the gun-toting image of Arafat in the Middle East. We need the exact opposite of that, which is why I have been suggesting so strongly that we put the violence aside and try and find other ways of doing things.”

Waite first became interested in the region over 25 years ago while doing volunteer work with children in the Middle East who were suffering trauma as a result of warfare. “The trauma that they suffer often leads to religious and political fundamentalist positions. What is happening in Iraq today does not bode very well for the future,” warns Waite.

In 1984, Waite founded an organization called Y Care in association with the international YMCA (Young Men’s Christian Association) movement. Y Care develops programs for and assists victims of war, particularly those in Lebanese refugee camps and across the Occupied Territories. He is also a patron of Neve Shalom (Oasis for Peace), which is located midway between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. It is a community of 50 families, half Palestinian and half Jewish, all with Israeli citizenship, who live together in a democratically governed society.

“The message is: There is hope for reconciliation,” says Waite.

No longer a salaried employee of the Anglican Church, Waite now earns his living by writing and lecturing. He has written three books so far. His first and second books, Taken on Trust and Footfalls in Memory published in 1994 and 1997, respectively, both describe his years in captivity and the inner strengths that allowed him to survive. Waite’s third and final book was a bit of a departure from his previous genre. Travels with a Primate came out to critical acclaim in 2001. In it, Waite tells the story of the seven years he spent traveling with Archbishop Robert Runci as his advisor on Anglican Communion affairs. It was Waite’s job to organize the Archbishop’s trips to various ministries around the world. Critics called it a light, humorous look at the Church with anecdotes about the Archbishops of Canterbury, Lambeth Palace and the ‘complex’ organism called the Anglican Communion.

“The books have done all right. Without them I would not have been able to do a lot of the things that I do today, like travel, lecture and spend time working with a number of charities that I hold very dear,” says Waite. Although he has always spent a good portion of his time traveling around the world, the former hostage calls the United Kingdom home. He has residences in London and the countryside, which he shares with his wife. Waite has four children and three grandchildren.

“We do live in a world full of suffering, but suffering need not destroy. The situation looks bleak right now but I remain hopeful that there are enough people who want to see justice prevail and who do not look down upon people of different faiths.

“Like a lot of other people who constantly speak and work for moderation, understanding and peace I would like to just make some small contribution to finding a peaceful resolution to the Middle East conflict. But I think it will require people with a lot more power and influence than me to be able to do that.” et